The Crystal Rule
Do unto others as they need be done unto

Things said 'in the heat of the moment' can leave scars that can last a lifetime. How can this be avoided?

Probably by something akin to the silver rule: "Don't do unto others what you wouldn't like done unto you." That's a great rule!

A lot better than the 'Golden' rule.

The 'golden rule' encourages you to do for other people the same kinds of things that you would like to have done unto yourself.

This is an egocentric world-view. In this framework, the entire universe is judged on how YOU would like YOUR ideal little world to be. This credo doesn't take into account at all how others would much better lead their lives as they see fit for themselves.

Every philosophy / religion / political party is based on some kind of 'leader' claiming that s/he has the answer to all social ills, for the ultimate good of the human race. The words get inevitably twisted (if they aren't already twisted enough to begin with) and the powerful soon begin ramming their leaders' ideas down the populace's throat, while simultaneously attempting to systematically destroy the good people's own free will 'for the benefit of all humankind' or 'the majority'.

History is full of instances of imperialists forcing conquered peoples to change their lifestyle to that of the conquerors under the war banner of the 'golden rule'. The conquerors say "What's good for us is good for you. From now on, you will speak like us, you will dress like us, you will think like us, and you will worship the same god."

What's good for one culture is not necessarily good for another.

On a smaller scale that means: What's good for me might not necessarily be the best thing for you, and vice versa.I don't demand that you to live your life according to my standards. You have your own set of values, and that's the way it should be. But still, we have plenty enough in common to help us live up to our respective potentials, and allow us to form those complex supportive bonds which allows humanity to use teamwork to excel.

The Golden Rule ("Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"), where an individual or organization decides that what is best for each particular individual or organization must, by illogical extension, be what is best for everyone on the planet, ie. they assume that world would be perfect if everyone had exactly the same viewpoints, opinions, superstitions, etc and then they attempt to justify these ill-founded social theories by forcing others to accept their ideology.

What is best for you, may not be what's best for me; and regarding what you want done unto you: It can never be assumed that I need or want the same things done unto me as you would have others do unto you - so don't try to ram your philosophies down my throat, and I'll extend the same courtesy to you.

The Crystal Rule breaks away from the two-dimensional outlook on life as typified by the 'Golden' and 'Silver' rules.

The Crystal Rule
Do Unto Others as They Need Be Done Unto

In a microcosm, that means I'll do things that you need done for you. It's always a good deed to give someone exactly what they need, just exactly when they need it.

The big picture is people helping people to help each other and themselves all over the world. Helping them to develop in the directions THEY most want and need to advance in (and not beholden to the will of some foreign doctrine).