Miss Manners on Toilet Seat Etiquette

J.Brent©1999

I think that all would agree that there are few situations more unpleasant than finding oneself perched upon a soggy toilet seat.

In a co-ed restroom at a place of business, there is only one position for the seat to be in, and that is the upright position. If the seat is left in the down(wrong) position, any number of "accidents" might occur. Consider the following profiles:

The Gottagorightnow
This individual has no concern other than insuring that his own clothing remains dry. If the seat is in the down(wrong) position, there is literally no time for him to lift the seat into the up(right) position.

Considering the individual's frantic state of mind at that moment, the liquid in question is certain to be found, at least in part, on the down(wrong) seat.

The Expert Marksman
This person is so sure of his shooting skills that he finds the seat in the down(wrong) position to be a worthy challenge to his sportsmanship. Not only will he NOT move the seat into the up(right) position, he will most certainly leave it there to once again prove to himself that his aim is true.

The Apathetic Man
This is someone who cares not for the health and well-being of others, thinking only that as long as HE doesn't have to sit on it, somebody else can clean it up.

The Sadist
People like this will go out of their way to make others' lives as uncomfortable as possible. This type of malicious individual will actually lower the seat into the down(wrong) position in order to soil the sanctity of the seat to delight in the discomfort of others.

To avoid the above situations, the correct position for the toilet seat to be in 99.99% of the time is the up(RIGHT) position, and should only be lowered to the down(WRONG) position when absolutely necessary, then immediately returned to the upright position as soon as the business has been conducted.

- Miss Manners

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