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Jazz Widow
Dear Auntie, My fiancé does nothing but play Jazz piano all day and all night. He says he's playing "Monk", but it sounds more like a drunken monkey bashing away at the keys. I finally got sick of it and told him that he has to choose either me or the music. After all, he'll never make any money playing that weird crap. We're going to need lots for a down payment on my dream house, and lord knows that our children are going to be expensive. When he said "goodbye" I don't think he really meant it. But then he went back to playing and didn't talk to me anymore. Should I leave him? Or should I stay and try to mold him into my adolescent fantasy of the man of my dreams? Jazz Widow
You make me sick. For all you know, your fiancé might turn out to be the greatest musical genius if the 21st century and here you want to beat him down into some little milquetoast money machine. There is a place for you in hell. Anyone who would try to turn the soul of a sensitive artist into some pussy-whipped cowering dog is worse than any slave-driver or sadistic control freak. The fact that you even believe that you can bulldoze your way through life with ultimatums of this kind is proof of what a sick and selfish individual you are. I was originally going to recommend that you go to a dating service and take their boring "test" to see if there were any males on this planet masochistic enough to submit to your less-than-subtle psycho-torture. But on second thought I wouldn't wish your particular brand of neuroses on any man on earth. Unless you change your attitude immediately concerning the validity of the arts and culture, and try to understand your fiancé's needs to fulfill his own destiny you will certainly die alone, unloved and penniless. Auntie 7
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