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Forks
Dear Auntie, Occasionally I'll find myself at a dinner where the salad and dinner fork are identical. I know the salad is supposed to be the one on the outside, but if they're exactly the same, how can I know for sure? This really bothers me as I would hate to accidentally use the wrong fork! Which one would Charlie Parker have used? Thank you! Whacky*
First let me apologize for not answering your question sooner, but Auntie has been having a lot of fun with some really big pianists lately and just hasn't had time. While Auntie tries to answer every question as truthfully as she can, it annoys Auntie when people like you write me with obviously bogus situations. A lowlife like you would NEVER be invited to anything even faintly resembling a formal dinner and you usually eat directly from the plate. The second fork is placed there to use as a defensive weapon should any of the psychos and trailer trash that you hang out with try to steal some food from your plate. Stabbing fellow diners with a knife is considered extremely poor etiquette even among the homeless, however fork marks usually go away within a week. As regards your question about Charlie Parker, his table manners were no better than yours will ever be. Auntie
Dear Auntie, Thanks for the latitude on which fork to use. I seems to be common problem for jazz musicians to distiguish between the salad and dinner fork. I can now breathe a sigh if relief knowing that I'm not the only one, and in the long run it doesn't really matter. I wonder if you've
ever stumbled upon any info regarding Charlie Parker's fork wisdom?
Is there perhaps a correlation between this and his abilty to play in
the zone? *
These generally involve insane contortions of the digits to achieve notes that are way higher than nature ever intended. It's common knowledge that Bird never played higher than an F#. So he was spared of the fork dilemma altogether. Did this help his ability to play in the zone? Does your ability to drive help your tennis game? Auntie
*Text in italics is not authored by J.Brent 7
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